Money for the Rest of Us

“…That means I’ve got less than a week to figure out some high-profit, low-commitment, under-the-table moneymaking schemes that require little to no skill. Looks like hustling is now my full-time job.”

This is the teaser that begins an article in the February issue of Jane Magazine. Quite the title and teaser, huh? Naturally I was hooked: if this magazine journalist can make an extra $1,000 in 5 days to buy some extra parts for her prized car, then naturally I should be able to do it to.

Let’s review how she earns $1,000 in 5 days (with the amount of time it took in parentheses):

1. Sends mass email to her friends and family “who have more money than time” and offers to do pretty much anything short of “whoring [her]self.”
2. Sells stuff on ebay for a 25% cut. By the end of the week this nets her $100+ (which she says averages to about $2.50/hour for the time she spent on it)
3. Dog-sitting = $40 (1 hour)
4. Cosmetics test= $120 (has to go back 3 times - several hours)
5. Sells cookies, brownies, lemon cake, and pumpkin bread at work = $60 (3 hours selling, much longer baking)
6. $15 Babysitting (an hour)
7. $50 transcribing an interview found on Craigslist
8. $50 picking her parents up at the airport
9. $315 = Delivers Ikea furniture (unclear to whom; one person is a friend’s cousin); (took most of a day)
10. $45 from two homemade lasagnas to friends who don’t cook (she charged $60, but the ingredients were $15) (time unspecified)
11. $10 from “being the butt of their amusement” — a bet on how long it will take her to get drunk at an all-you-can drink beer festival (during free time)
12. $80 in cash from selling clothes back to a secondhand store
13. Sets up “the adult equivalent of a lemonade stand at work” $2/ cup cider spiked with applejack brandy; unclear how much that netted
14. $120 Sells t-shirts for $20 to football tailgaters

This article makes for an interesting story, but that’s about it. I wouldn’t recommend trying any of these schemes as a way to make a $1000. Selling clothes back to a thrift store is the only one that seems practical. And looking for quick jobs on Craigslist (like transcribing) could work too. The other ways she got money just wouldn’t fly. I’m not sure how my work would feel if I showed up with cookies to sell. And I do know how they would feel if I showed up with cider liquor—they would show me the door—permanently. I guess those are the joys of working at a magazine. You can spend your work day trying to make an extra buck and still get paid your normal salary since it is work for a “story.”

I think the biggest lesson to learn from this story is that even if you can earn an extra $1000 in 5 days, it’s not easy. The author said that she worked over 100 hours to earn this money. That’s $10/hour. It just goes to show that the only way to “get rich” is hard work, lots of sweat, and a good sense of humor.

If you happen to see a Jane magazine while waiting in line at the store, the article is worth a quick read. Like most Jane articles it’s sarcastic, bitter, entertaining, and still a little informative.